When You Get Ticked Off – What’s a Mom To Do??
It’s no secret that moms get mad – sometimes really mad. It’s totally ok to feel angry. It’s ok not to be ok. When you get ticked off it’s important to pay attention to your anger. Notice it starting to come up and then apply the simple and powerful technique that I’m about to share with you to calm down in seconds.
I’m Stephanie, author of Embrace the Beautiful Chaos of Motherhood, helping moms find their Zen in the whirlwind craziness of motherhood and life. We are talking about what to do when you get ticked off, especially while quarantined with your family! Read all the way to the end to discover the simple tool I use when I feel like I am about to lose my shit! I also have a couple of free resources that I’ll share at the end that will help you get through all this with less anger and less stress.
For those of you who don’t know me, I am a mom of 3 – two boys and a girl. I have no idea what day of quarantine we are on right now, but I know it’s been a while and I have needed to use this technique many times over the past several months when I was on the brink of totally losing my mind with my kids. I have lived on both sides of chaos as a mom – totally consumed and overwhelmed by it, often reacting in anger and also on the flip side – centered and balanced in spite of that chaos. The steps I have taken and continue to take aren’t as elusive as I once believed they were. Anyone can do it and my job is to help moms realize how they can bring more peace and balance into their beautiful chaos of motherhood. The technique I’m about to share is a quick deep breathing exercise that has been an absolute sanity saver for me especially during quarantine.
When you get ticked off about something or by someone, but you’re trying to stay calm and not lose it – it can look like this…
- You get triggered
- You think, “I’m so pissed right now”
- You observe your anger for a sec
- You realize that you have a choice to ride the anger wave in all of it’s wrath or to choose something better
- You choose how to respond and decide to breathe for relief and bring the intensity of the situation way down so you can make a better choice from there
Notice that I said you observe your anger. Yep, definitely make note of it mentally. You want to tuck that away to investigate that trigger later like we talked about in the video “When I lose my shit: The Angry Mom Explained” So, make your mental note and then try this breathing exercise BEFORE you flip out.
Think It Won’t Work for You?
It’s like I can hear you saying, “Seriously?! You want me to breathe?? That’s bullshit.” Hear me out if you think breathing won’t work for you…
First of all, I totally know what you mean. When my anger pops up, the last thing I want to do is take a deep breath and taking a deep breath or three sure as hell doesn’t calm me down. Neither does someone telling me to calm down, ask my family – it’s like pouring gasoline on the fire.
The breathing that I’m talking about is different though. You aren’t just taking a deep breath when you feel mad. You are:
- Taking in a breath for the count of five
- Holding that breath for the count of five
- Releasing that breath for the count of five
- And then you will repeat this several times
I don’t know the official science behind this, but I know it works miracles for me. Try it for yourself and tell me if you feel calmer after – it really works! Taking normal deep breaths doesn’t do a damn thing for me (other than keep me alive of course), but this technique works to bring immediate relief from what’s infuriating me at any moment. And I can find a calmer way to approach the situation or person ticking me off.
How do you feel when someone tells you to “calm down” or to “take a deep breath”? Please share in the comments below. Try this 5-second in, 5-second hold, and 5-second out cycle the next time you get ticked off and let me know how it works for you. You can let me know in the comments or find me on Instagram @iamstephaniepereira.
Here’s some even deeper relief for you! I’d love for you to try a FREE guided meditation I recorded for you to find instant relief and reconnect with your calm. I’ve gotten tons of excellent feedback on it and would love to share that relief with you.
You can find this topic on my YouTube channel as well.
If you liked this quick tip, be sure to let me know in the comments. Now that you have learned this super simple and highly effective technique, check out the next step in getting over being a mad mom with the next step: You can choose how you perceive.
I’ll see you there.